The Millie Bobby Brown Monopoly on Your Screen
So, here we go again with the industry’s favorite child turned titan Millie Bobby Brown basically holding the keys to the Netflix kingdom while the rest of the Hollywood plebs scramble for scraps. Do we really think it is a coincidence that the moment Stranger Things wraps its final season the powers that be suddenly drop a first look at Enola Holmes 3 like a frantic peace offering to the fans? It is calculated. It is cold. Honestly, it is a bit predictable at this point because let’s be real for a second here. Netflix is terrified of a world where Millie decides she is too big for the small screen and decides to go full Oscar-bait on us. They need her. They need that Victorian aesthetic and the fourth-wall-breaking sass to keep the teenagers subscribed and the parents from hitting that cancel button during the off-season. Can you imagine the board meetings where they just throw bags of money at her until she agrees to put the corset back on? It must be a sight to behold. She is the golden goose.
Is anyone surprised?
We have seen this movie before literally and figuratively because the streaming wars have turned into a battle of who can recycle their stars the fastest. Enola Holmes 3 is the ultimate safety net for a company that is looking at a 2026 slate that feels a little bit like a fever dream curated by an algorithm that has been drinking too much corporate coffee. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good mystery as much as the next person who spends twelve hours a day scrolling through true crime TikToks but do we really need a third one? The first was a breath of fresh air and the second was a decent enough distraction but by the third time Sherlock’s little sister solves a crime it starts to feel less like a movie and more like a mandatory chore for the audience. And Henry Cavill is back as Sherlock which is just hilarious because the man cannot seem to stay away from franchises that eventually fall apart or get rebooted every three years. It is like he is allergic to original scripts that don’t involve a cape or a pipe. What is he even doing? He is just there to look handsome and provide a bit of gravitas while Millie does all the heavy lifting and talks to the camera like we are her best friends who have nothing better to do on a Tuesday night.
The 2026 Ghost Town of Content
Now let’s talk about this 2026 slate because it is absolutely wild that we are already talking about 2026 when I haven’t even decided what I am having for dinner tonight. Netflix is playing the long game but the long game looks a lot like a bargain bin at a closing Blockbuster. We have War Machine which sounds like every other military movie ever made and Remarkably Bright Creatures which I assume is for the people who found My Octopus Teacher too intellectually challenging. Then there is Tyler Perry’s Joe’s College Road Trip and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about the creative direction of the studio then I don’t know what will. It is the same old song and dance. They are trying to be everything to everyone and in doing so they are becoming a giant void of mediocrity that occasionally spits out a gem like Enola just to keep us interested. Are we actually excited for a 2026 film slate? It feels like being told what you’re going to be bored by two years in advance. It is exhausting.
Nobody asked for this.
But wait there is more because John Cena is in a comedy called Little Brother and at this point John Cena is basically the human equivalent of a participation trophy in Hollywood. He is everywhere and he is fine but does he move the needle? No. He just occupies space and makes us wonder when the actual movie stars are coming back to save us from this endless cycle of ‘content’ that feels like it was written by a generative AI program that was fed a diet of mid-2000s sitcoms and rejected Michael Bay scripts. The contrast between the Enola Holmes hype and the rest of this 2026 announcement is staggering. It is like a high-end boutique versus a warehouse sale where everything is fifty percent off because nobody wanted it the first time around. Netflix is betting the farm on the familiar while pretending to give us variety and honestly we should all be a little insulted. Do they think we don’t see the strings? Do they think we are just going to swallow whatever they serve us because it has a familiar face on the poster? Probably. And the worst part is they are usually right. We will watch it. We will tweet about it. We will complain about it. And then we will wait for Enola Holmes 4 because we are addicts for the mediocre.
The Cult of the Franchise and the Death of Mystery
Let’s dive deeper into the Enola phenomenon because it really highlights the absolute state of the industry where a character can’t just have one good adventure and then go home. No, she has to have a trilogy. She has to have a cinematic universe. She has to have merchandise and spin-offs and a social media campaign that starts two years before the movie even has a trailer. It is the death of mystery in a movie about mysteries. We already know she’s going to win. We already know the tone. We already know that Henry Cavill will look stoic and Millie will be charmingly rebellious against the constraints of 19th-century society. It is a formula. And formulas are boring even when they are expensive. Why can’t we have something new? Why is Netflix so scared of a script that doesn’t have a number after the title? It is the fear of the unknown that is killing the joy of cinema and replacing it with the comfort of the familiar. They want us to feel safe in the Netflix ecosystem like we are wrapped in a warm blanket of sequels and reboots that never challenge us or make us think too hard. It is digital Valium. It is a sedative for the masses.
Is this the peak of entertainment?
Think about the sheer amount of money being funneled into these projects while smaller more interesting films are being buried under the algorithm never to be seen again. It is a tragedy of the digital age. We have more access to content than ever before but we are being funnelled toward the same five things because the marketing budgets are focused on the heavy hitters. Enola Holmes 3 will get a massive push while Remarkably Bright Creatures will probably languish in the ‘Because You Watched’ category until it disappears into the ether. It is a winner-takes-all system and Millie Bobby Brown is the ultimate winner. She has successfully navigated the transition from child star to producer and power player and while I respect the hustle I have to wonder what the cost is to the actual quality of the work. When you are the boss and the star and the face of the company who is telling you ‘no’? Who is telling you that maybe the script needs another pass or that the fourth-wall breaks are getting a bit old? Nobody. That is who. And that is how you get bloated sequels that feel like they are five hours long even when they are only two. It is a vanity project disguised as a blockbuster.
Predictions for the 2026 Fallout
By the time 2026 rolls around the streaming landscape will likely look very different but Netflix is betting that we will still be hungry for the same stuff. I predict that Enola Holmes 3 will break records for the first three days and then be completely forgotten by day four. That is the lifecycle of a Netflix hit. It is a flash in the pan that burns bright and then leaves nothing but a faint smell of burnt popcorn and regret. And what about War Machine? It will probably be a top ten hit in countries you’ve never been to and then never mentioned again in polite society. The Tyler Perry movie will do exactly what Tyler Perry movies do which is make a ton of money and satisfy a very specific audience that doesn’t care about what critics think. And that is the brilliance and the horror of the Netflix model. They don’t need to make good movies. They just need to make movies that people will click on. Clicking is the only metric that matters in the end. It doesn’t matter if you liked it. It only matters that you started it. And with a title like Enola Holmes 3 they know for a fact that millions of people will click. They have us right where they want us.
Will we ever break free from the cycle or are we doomed to watch sequels until the end of time? The answer is probably the latter because as long as we keep rewarding these companies for playing it safe they will never take a risk. They will never give us the next big original idea if they can just give us the third version of something we already liked. It is a cycle of stagnation that is being sold to us as a ‘film slate’ and we are buying it hook line and sinker. So get ready for 2026. Get ready for more of the same. Get ready for Millie Bobby Brown to save the world again while wearing a very nice hat. It is coming and there is nothing you can do about it except maybe turn off the TV and go outside. But let’s be real. None of us are going to do that. We are going to sit right there and watch every single minute of it and then complain about it on the internet just like I am doing right now. It is the circle of life in the digital age and it is as beautiful as it is pathetic. The hype train has left the station and it is headed straight for 2026 with no brakes and a very expensive cast. Buckle up because it is going to be a very long and very predictable ride. I hope you like Victorian detectives and John Cena because that is all you’re getting for the foreseeable future. Enjoy the content. Drink the Kool-Aid. Watch the sequels. It is all we have left.
